Guys, guys!  I just won free money!

"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove) 04/25/2018 at 16:04 • Filed to: I can finally complete my pez collection!

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caller pictured; I suspect I couldn’t understand her because of the mask.

The Federal Government Grant and Treasury Department just called me to tell me !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! grant from the US government. I had a hard time understanding the lady’s words through her thick accent, but we managed to communicate eventually (it must be all those diversity initiatives finally paying off so that our government is hiring people from so many ethnic backgrounds!). Anyway, all she needed to know was the answers to a few questions:

Her: May I ask you your name?

Me: Michael Schumacher.

Her: And what is your zip code?

Me: 90210

Her: And what will you use the money for, perhaps to pay bills or buy clothes?

Me: I’ll buy Whataburger gift cards for my friends.

Her: Your friends? What about yourself?

Me: Well, I’m currently on a diet.

Her: Oh...Are you employed?

Me: Yes. (I was disappointed she didn’t ask me what my job was; I had a good answer ready).

Anyway, she then gave me a number to call the awards center ((518) 380-2125) and the confirmation number of JE105. All I have to do is call that number with my confirmation and collect my $7,000!

Spanfeller is a twat > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:06

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Nine... thats a cali zip code?

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:07

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Sounds Legit. I received $1 Million from a Nigerian prince myself back in 2007, but since I am richer than God I donated it to charity.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Spanfeller is a twat 04/25/2018 at 16:07

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ttyymmnn > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:10

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Dude, what the hell are you doing wasting your time on Oppo? GO GET YOUR MONEEZ!

Ash78, voting early and often > Spanfeller is a twat 04/25/2018 at 16:10

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Cali? More like Medellin.

/sorry not sorry

For Sweden > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:11

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President Kanye is going to give everyone a free Merci, but it will actually be a Gallardo.

Ash78, voting early and often > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:11

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My standard telemarketer response. I love Pete Holmes. Some of his stuff is so dumb, but the delivery is beautiful.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:13

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user314 > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:13

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My X-type is too a real Jaguar > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 04/25/2018 at 16:14

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That show had some great Car Porn

Chariotoflove > Spanfeller is a twat 04/25/2018 at 16:16

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Yup.

vicali > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:17

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Nigel Saladu says you better phone...

Chariotoflove > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 04/25/2018 at 16:18

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Dude, do you still keep in touch with that prince? I’m in the process of setting up a charity.

itschrome > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:20

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I’ve been getting that call too!!! was it from the same number? 2028369537 fuck those guys.

ttyymmnn > Ash78, voting early and often 04/25/2018 at 16:22

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Ohhh, Pablo!

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn 04/25/2018 at 16:22

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Oh yeah...brb...

ttyymmnn > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:22

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You mean a college fund for your kids?

Chariotoflove > user314 04/25/2018 at 16:25

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This was an all time epic commercial. Also, I loved his sweater.

Chariotoflove > Ash78, voting early and often 04/25/2018 at 16:28

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Funny thing is, this time I had to call back three times because the girls kept hanging up on me when I kept asking them to repeat stuff. I seriously couldn’t understand through their thick African accents until the third try.

Chariotoflove > vicali 04/25/2018 at 16:30

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He makes a good point.

PatBateman > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:30

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Ask them for double or nothing. For some reason, I have a feeling that they’ll do it.

Chariotoflove > itschrome 04/25/2018 at 16:31

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I’ll split it with you.

Chariotoflove > For Sweden 04/25/2018 at 16:31

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Kanye hear me now?

user314 > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:32

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It’s because we’ve all talked to Peggy at one point or another.

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn 04/25/2018 at 16:33

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Charity...extortion...it all runs together after a while.

Chariotoflove > PatBateman 04/25/2018 at 16:34

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Damn, you new yorkers are tough cookies.

boredalways > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 04/25/2018 at 16:37

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What would a king of his own country with technological advances the world had never seen need $1 million from a Nigerian prince?

Your little sister Shuri is a bad influence on you

PatBateman > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:41

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You can always be the thinner, look better, demand more money from mysterious sources that I’m sure are totally legit.

Chariotoflove > user314 04/25/2018 at 16:45

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Worth watching again, like this one:

Discerning > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:49

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Hey Hey! 518. Haven’t seen a number with that area code in a while

user314 > Chariotoflove 04/25/2018 at 16:53

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Oh but “Transfer” is best!

LongbowMkII > For Sweden 04/25/2018 at 17:26

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And that’s actually a TC by Maserati

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > boredalways 04/25/2018 at 17:30

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I don’t need money. The Nigerian Prince shares his wealth and expects nothing in return. I just put it to good use- Including free Infinity War tickets for underprivileged kids in America.

Chariotoflove > user314 04/25/2018 at 17:52

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Good one.

boredalways > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 04/25/2018 at 21:07

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

T’CHALLA! T’CHALLA!! T’CHALLA!!!